Considering that my next expedition is headed to the top of Asia in the middle of winter where temperatures get as low as –80C, I am constantly going back and forth with excitement and fear about the situation. I recently received this annotated thermometer, which is at least a good way to keep a smile about temperatures that can cause you to lose fingers and toes.
°C | °F | |
15 | 60 | Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe) |
10 | 50 | Miami residents turn on the heat |
5 | 40 | You can see your breath Californians shiver uncontrollably Canadians go swimming |
2 | 35 | Italian cars don’t start |
0 | 32 | Water freezes |
-1 | 30 | You plan your vacation to Australia Canadians put on T-shirts Politicians begin to worry about the homeless British cars don’t start |
-4 | 25 | Boston water freezes Californians weep pitiably Minnesotans eat ice cream Swedes go swimming |
-7 | 20 | You can hear your breath Politicians begin to talk about the homeless New York City water freezes Miami residents plan vacation further South |
-10 | 15 | French cars don’t start You plan a vacation in Mexico Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you |
-12 | 10 | Too cold to ski You need jumper cables to get the car going |
-15 | 5 | You plan your vacation in Houston American cars don’t start |
-18 | 0 | Swedes put on T-shirts Too cold to skate |
-23 | -10 | German cars don’t start Eyes freeze shut when you blink |
-26 | -15 | You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects Miami residents cease to exist |
-30 | -20 | Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you Politicians actually do something about the homeless Swedes shovel snow off roof Japanese cars don’t start |
-32 | -25 | Too cold to think You need jumper cables to get the driver going |
-35 | -30 | You plan a two week hot bath The Mighty Monongahela freezes Swedish cars don’t start |
-40 | -40 | Californians disappear Swedes button top button Canadians put on sweaters Your car helps you plan your trip South |
-45 | -50 | Congressional hot air freeze Swedes close the bathroom window |
-60 | -80 | Hell freezes over Polar bears move south |
-65 | -90 | Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets |